Shocking resistance; hateful thoughts about God and the Holy Spirit

by PAUL GRAY
(LEICESTERSHIRE, ENGLAND UNITED KINGDOM)

A COURSE IN MIRACLES IS MUCH MORE VALUABLE THAN ANY OTHER BELIEF SYSTEM/PSYCHOLOGY I'VE TRIED: NOT ONE OF THEM, FROM BUDDHISM TO COGNITIVE THERAPY, HAS GIVEN ME A JOT OF IMPROVEMENT.


A COURSE IN MIRACLES, HOWEVER, HAS AT LEAST PROVIDED A MODICUM OF RELIEF - THERE IS SLIGHTLY MORE A SENSE OF PEACE, SLIGHTLY MORE OF A RELEASE FROM FEAR -

EVEN IF THESE CHANGES ARE MORE OR LESS IMPERCEPTIBLE, THEY ARE AT LEAST SOMETHING - AND THEY DO SEEM TO HAVE STAYING POWER.

THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT ACIM IS THE 'PATH' FOR ME, THOUGH I CAN SEE IT AIN'T GOING TO BE EASY - TO SAY THE LEAST.

AT TIMES I FEEL SO FRUSTRATED AT THE HOLY SPIRITS'S UNBREAKABLE SILENCE THAT I GENUINELY FEEL LIKE PACKING IT IN AND SCREAMING TERRIBLE ABUSE HIS WAY.
I SIMPLY CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW I'M SUPPOSED TO GAIN THE MAJOR BENEFITS AS PROMISED BY THE BOOK IF I SENSE NO OTHER VOICE THAN THE EGO'S. HOW CAN I MAKE ANOTHER CHOICE IF THERE APPEARS ONLY ONE OPTION? HOW CAN I CHOOSE ANOTHER ROUTE WHEN THERE APPEARS ONLY ONE ROAD???

STILL, IT'S THE BOOK FOR ME, I SAY THROUGH GRITTED TEETH.


PAUL


Answer from Katherine T Owen, webmaster a-spiritual-journey-oh

Dear Paul,
Thank you so much for sharing about your struggle with A Course In Miracles. It sounds like you have tried many other things, so it is quite a testimony to ACIM!
I have heard many like it. A little peace is so much better than none at all, and gives us hope we are going in the right direction. That is all we need sometimes to keep going.

Have you seen the article on hearing from god ? - It is a thread by students of A Course In Miracles on what it means to them to hear the voice for God. It was a reply to someone, like yourself, feeling so frustrated at not hearing God talking to her.

In that moment where we say:
“I am willing to see peace instead of this”,
we provide a space for God to enter.
We have stopped looking for the answer to our problem in our own mind.
This thought alone turns down the chatter of our minds. And silence is already so much better a form of guidance than our 'hateful' thoughts.
In my experience, the more we trust that our “little willingness” is enough and that the answer will be provided, the more it is provided.

You ask:
HOW CAN I MAKE ANOTHER CHOICE IF THERE APPEARS ONLY ONE OPTION? HOW CAN I CHOOSE ANOTHER ROUTE WHEN THERE APPEARS ONLY ONE ROAD?

In a sense, we don’t choose between two voices. We realise that, no matter how many options it seems to come up with, we only hear the ego’s voice.
We realise that this voice is not doing a good job of giving us peace and happiness.
And so we say:
“Hey, what do I know.
“Dear Holy Spirit, please decide for me” (ACIM quotes)
We are then willing to rest in a place of trust that we are receiving guidance and we “cannot fail”.

Your resistance is not shocking and your thoughts are not hateful. They are just thoughts.

“These thoughts do not mean anything.
The thoughts of which I am aware do not mean anything because I am trying to think without God. What I call "my" thoughts are not my real thoughts.

My real thoughts are the thoughts I think with God. I am not aware of them because I have made my thoughts to take their place.

I am willing to recognize that my thoughts do not mean anything, and to let them go.
I choose to have them be replaced by what they were intended to replace.
My thoughts are meaningless, but all creation lies in the thoughts I think with God.” (W-51.5, A Course In Miracles quotes)

Thank you again.
You have my admiration for your belief that peace is possible and your persistence in being willing to receive it. God guides us. We cannot fail.

With the Love we are,
Katherine



Comments for Shocking resistance; hateful thoughts about God and the Holy Spirit

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Aug 09, 2011
 ACIM struggle
by: Keith

Dear Paul,

You wrote:
AT TIMES I FEEL SO FRUSTRATED AT THE HOLY SPIRITS'S UNBREAKABLE SILENCE THAT I GENUINELY FEEL LIKE PACKING IT IN AND SCREAMING TERRIBLE ABUSE HIS WAY.

Firstly, you ARE the Holy Spirit! It is not a separate entity to you. It IS you, and all of us. In our actual natural state we are one spiritual being.

One thing stopping you from communicating is mental chatter. Practice overcoming it Paul. Set targets for say 30 seconds, then a minute, then 2 minutes, and practice sitting in silence with an empty mind. It is REALLY TOUGH! But it's do-able. Only in mental silence will inspiration from the Holy Spirit flow. It can't not happen.

Also remember to accept whatever level you are at. As Katherine says: "It's OK"
Resistance to your current state of being, whether good or bad, only repels, on an atomic level, the very thing you want. You create your own resistance.

I SIMPLY CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW I'M SUPPOSED TO GAIN THE MAJOR BENEFITS AS PROMISED BY THE BOOK IF I SENSE NO OTHER VOICE THAN THE EGO'S.

You are not gaining anything you don't already have Paul. Treat it as a remembering of what you are instead of a search for some kind of external gain. Practice Silence, Meditation, and do your Lessons absolutely, totally, religiously, and if you don't do them properly then do them again and again until you do! Then one day something will happen and you will realise that progress has been real and unceasing, and has crept up on you gently. You will then be amazed and spurred on to greater success within yourself.

Wishing you much success brother.

Keith

Comment from webmaster, Katherine

Thank you Keith for your beautiful words.

With Love to you two, and to all
Aug 29, 2011
 ACIM Struggle
by: John R

I have been a student of the Course for many, many years, and have never heard a "Voice".

That said I have experienced a change of mind, or a change in how I see someone, or how I see a situation.

Especially in stressful situations when I have called upon the Holy Spirit. The thought clearly changed, and the new thought was not mine. How I saw the situation, how I was going about dealing with it, what was circling in my head as to all the different past thoughts, past situations, past comments...... It is all in play (Actively effecting).

I called upon the Holy Spirit only because I had reached the point where I knew I was angry, upset, depressed, fearful, whatever. But I knew enough to STOP and seek to allow my thoughts to be changed. And they were.

Interestingly enough I typically don't remember all the stuff that was floating around when I was upset. It was as if it was all inappropriate.

What I saw was altogether different. My actions, my response, my communication fit appropriately with what I now knew. And what I heard back confirmed it.

"Who am I?"...is a very good question.
You really don't know all the stuff hidden in the storage decks of your mind, that is in play, manipulating your experience. Nothing is as it seems ;-). You realise this more when you experience how quickly, and how radically it can be altered by a simple, sincere request.

Who am I....... I ask because I know I don't know, and I ....can be changed.

ACIM is the ultimate adventure. You never know where you are but you can sense your direction.

Enjoy
John

Note from webmaster of a-spiritual-journey-of-healing.com, Katherine T Owen

Thank you John, for your honesty and your insight. I love and need the reminder that we only need to ask and have a little willingness. It is so tempting to try to work everything out!

Celebrating our innocence,
Katherine

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